An Odyssey of Dreams

Four (just four, no scores) years ago, when I graduated from college, I spent a good three months applying for lab tech jobs, watching Stargate (SG-1 and Atlantis), and Firefly on my sister's computer, and otherwise emphatically vegging in her house. I think I may have been what is known as "burned out" - I still remember the feeling of being utterly emptied of any creativity I had at the time.

That feeling is a lot like where I was two weeks ago - utterly exhausted by life and not interested in anything save escaping the constant work, the constant pressure. I was late to get home for Shabbat that week and as I was pulling out of the university the driver in front of me was chatting on with her car full of girlfriends. I honked at her so she would turn onto the only road that leads out of this badly-constructed place, and she decided that flipping me off the rest of the time we shared the road was the way to go. I got home to light candles - late - and as I did so I saw how messy our dining room was. I was hit with such a wave of despair and anger and irrational desire to hit things that I could only manage one thing: I went to bed.

Doyle woke me up a few hours later and we went out for dinner to a mall that has two things that cheer me up immensely - a Borders and a Cheesecake Factory. We didn't really get to explore the Borders before closing, so we went back the next day so I could indulge in some escapism. And that's when, after wandering around and not having anything catch my eye for 15 minutes, I picked up blackholly's Ironside, and started reading. I bought the book and finished it at home, a few hours later, curled up in the new reading nook I'd made for myself several months ago but hadn't actually used before. And then I went to the stack of books I've bought and not read, and I picked up libba_bray's The Sweet Far Thing. It'd been waiting for some attention for almost a year now, and I felt like I was going back in time - like I was back at my sister's house in August/September 2004, flying through Tithe and A Great and Terrible Beauty and thinking "I could do this. I have a story to tell."

It's weird how a one-two punch can happen twice. It took me longer to finish TSFT than AGaTB, and I still have many thoughts on it - and it actually makes me want to write fanfic, which is not an event that happens very often. I'll save that for another post (gotta have a reason). But last night I opened the file I keep Glamour in and started scanning it. I read through the notes lodessa and hamsterwoman left on my journal last summer. And I started thinking about how I could fix it.

I'm still too far from "there yet." I worked another 12 hour day on Tuesday, I've not really had much success in waking up and going into work earlier so I can leave earlier (though I've now moved it back about 30 minutes). I have yet to write a single word. But today I picked up another book from my overwhelmingly large "to read" pile and put it in my backpack. Gotta start somewhere.

I saw the Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End trailer (thanks to meilithian, who was kind enough to alert me of its existance). It is SHINY! And seems timed to release following my first set of Orals this May. Good stuff.

Also, Doyle & I will be going to England May 30th through June 7th. If you have suggestions for what we should do or see, please don't hesitate to advise. We'll definitely be in London, Oxford, and Cambridge, but beyond that we have no clue.

Following a conversation I had with hamsterwoman, I've been thinking about revisions of Glamour. More particularly, having this plan wherein I go in and revise a chapter a day and then post it here under filtered friends-lock for critique. It seems like something that would motivate me to do the revisions (which I have been dragging on) and yet keep my commitment to not show the thing to anyone until I've done a 2nd draft of all the chapters. This would be a massive project, though, so until I've done my Orals, it's just not happening. But after that, I'll have a bit more breathing room and it'll be good to get it done.

What do you guys think?

What the title says. I've been buried under a pile of grad-school-y stuff. It's been an amazingly positive experience thus far, but certainly an exhausting one. Voluntarily I've been putting in hours that have had people in the lab I'm rotating telling me that I'm working too hard and I really shouldn't stress so much. The funny thing is that I'm not stressed at all on this score - it's the most biologically-related fun I've had since I left undergrad. Absolutely wonderful!

So wonderful, in fact, that it's been stimulating my writing. Out of the blue I started rewriting one of the most troublesome parts of Glamour - the prologue - and just today came up with a really nifty idea for short stories. ( Cut to spare those who aren't interested. And also, rambly. )

In other news, I'm enjoying the latest season of Stargate: Atlantis like little else. Character moments! And backstory! And group bonding! Yay! Though I haven't seen last weeks', and won't see this weeks' for a bit. SG-1 is looking good too, though I'm sad about the cancellation.

I'm feeling less-than-thrilled over the upcoming VM and BSG premieres, though. Both shows have kind of left me underwhelmed in the aftermath of their second seasons, and the only way I was able to enjoy the Veronica Mars finale was by tossing the plot out the window and forgetting anything that even stank of continuity and cohesion. Though to be fair, I wasn't thrilled with the the first season's finale, either. Battlestar Galactica sort of went downhill for me after the Pegasus episodes, and for pretty much the same reasons. I'm not at all impressed with the commercials SciFi's been running, either.

My semagic informs me that today is matociquala's birthday. Happy Birthday Bear!

Today is also the start of Rosh Hashannah, so if you thought that I'd be on more now that I've appeared briefly, you were most likely mistaken. Nevertheless, Shannah Tovah to all that celebrate, and may you be inscribed in the Book of Life!

I slept almost until noon today. Wow.

So the first week has absolutely overwhelmed me with information and science-y goodness. Which is grand, because it's been such a positive experience.

However, as a result, I've gotten absolutely nothing done on anything remotely related to writing books, short stories, or anything of the sort. The closest I've come, I think, is finding this really nifty image that quite resembles my heroine prior to all the things that happen to her in the books. I know the tagging says it's an angel, but I see no wings, but a really pissed of girl, so I'm going with that. The bonus of that has convinced me her hair need not be all that long, so I'm thinking the length in the picture is right for what I want to do (and has the bonus of having Adelle really resemble her). Dunno what she's doing hanging out on that rock in that really nice dress, though. Feel free to suggest your own interpertations.

In other news, Doyle has started an insane Mythbusters marathon with the aid of the DVR, and bought a Nintendo DS, with Tetris. I have, as a result, been staring at bright screens for inordinate amounts of time, and that really ought to end. I think I'll go buy tea, instead.

I lack discipline. Every time I make plans, they get sidelined and I wind up reading Jane Austen instead. Not that reading Austen is bad, by any means, but I do have a book I need to rewrite in large chunks. And so, a meme stolen shamelessly borrowed from truepenny.

A List of First Sentences of Works in Various Stages of Progress:

( Cut because I care, and you may not. )

Strange day - full of work done, The Lathe of Heaven finished (and a review/Le Guin thoughts post brewing), a discussion of what is "hard" science fiction simultaneously brewing, and the first lines of Honour appearing.

I can tell that this one will be just as challenging as the first one. The characters insist on talking in short witticisms, staying only long enough to impart their newest gem and make sure my brain records it before departing for parts unknown. I'll start really worrying about it as July nears, for that shall be when the dreaded spectre of "free time" shall rear its head.

Saw X3 just now - rather more plot-full and not-horrendous than I came in expecting. A few of the characters were flying in the most odd fashion, but as a summer blockbuster flick (and how sad is it that I have this standard?) it isn't so bad.

Still looking forward to the new Pirates. Possibly even more now.

Ah well, must do that sleep thing.

Having sent Glamour (yay! it has a title that I can call it now!) off for editing, phase 1, my brain is divided on the things we should do next.

The happy, productive part is bouncing up and down going "Good job! We should write something! Write something!" It does not, unfortunately, specify what that "something" should be.

The lazy, overworked part is busy lying on the couch, staring out into the torrential downpour and going "Are you kidding? Gimme some tea, some books, and leave me the hell alone. The draft stinks anyway. You're never going to fix the shit that is chapter 20, so suck it." I'm not too fond of that side of my brain right now, but it does have a point with the tea and the book.

Plus, I have a weird urge to do a lot of research on rusalka and domovoi. I tried to get my mom to give me some tips on finding Russian balladry back in February for Greer Gilman, but she's been so busy she flaked and probably forgot about it long ago. Getting back to my mythic roots or something?

It's weird. When I was in college I was writing these stories about my ex and one of my professors looked at me and said "You moved to this country and had this incredible formative experience? Why the hell are you writing about coffee shops and exes?" And I honestly tried to write about my experiences then, but no matter how hard I squeezed, it wouldn't get anywhere.

Having read as much as I have lately, I think it has something to do with the format and structure of the story. When we were moving it was a novel. Things blended together - one thing led to another and it was a long narrative. I was trying to write short stories - single moments in time, a point at which change happens - because that was the scope of the course. But my immigration wasn't a short story - it was a novel. And my difficulty reflects that.

This leads to all sorts of deep navel-gazing as to what I want to write when I'm finished with the trilogy. But at the moment, the "when" is rather optimistic on my part.

Eh, all navel-gazing aside, I should finish The Faery Reel so that I may squee about it in an unhindered fashion.